Ask Aarin: ZOMG 2012?

What’s the best way to survive Armageddon? I’m at a total loss here I keep thinking, what am I gonna do? 2012 is just around teh corner! — muffmuncher55

Thanks muffy. I hear History Channel, the fucking History Channel, is hosting an apocalypse battle on twitter, the finalists for 2012 being Zombies and a Comet. You’re fucked either way.

Personally, I don’t see a reason to speak against the 2012 stuff. Anyone born before 1984 was reasonably adultish for Y2K. We had bunker families and apparent millions waiting breathlessly as each timezone ticked away that new years eve, and Dec 21 will be no different. We might actually break the internet that day.

So as much of a yawn as this is for me (no one brought this up until 5 years ago, and certainly not in the 90’s) keep the hype up. There’s always going to be another planetary conjunction or bible code or death comet, and as much as the scientists get worked up against it “NO, YOU’RE ALL INCITING A HYSTERIA” I’m pretty damn sure no one actually believes this stuff except for that one unbalanced person who offs themself, who didn’t need an apocalypse, they needed an excuse.

Now for a real apocalypse, muffy, you’ll need a community to survive it. Not weapons alone, not a bunker, you’ll need friends, land, and a sense of community among other people who want to live. You think the population of Tajikistan will bat an eyelash if the modern world goes to shit? Nope. They got that shit covered.

Ask aarin: Best of 2011?

Are you making a 2011 favorites list? - Karen, MN

Nope, not like a series of top 5’s or anything. I don’t consume nearly enough media to say “This was the best shit this year,” and the media I do enjoy is often non-current. My favs I experienced for this year:

Book – Jim Butcher’s Summer Knight (2002)

Game – Final Fantasy 13 (2010)

TV – Game of Thrones (2011)

Movie – Scott Pilgrim (2010)

Song – Devotchka - The Clockwise Witness (2008)

Album – Idolm@ster Rem@ster B (2011)

Anime – Working!! (2010)

Viral Video – Honey Badger (2011)

Meme – My Little Pony: FiM (2011)

Website – TED videos

Webcomic – XKCD

Best ‘media’ moment – Repeal of DADT

Memorable ‘media’ moment – Osama Bin Laden

Disappointing ‘media’ moment – Anthony Weiner’s wiener

Quote – “People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.” Richard J. Needham

Ask Aarin: Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go?

Is my boyfriend avoiding me? – PCeches

I like it how people think I’m fucking psychic. Not whining, but the only bad part of this gig is my inability to ask follow-up questions. This isn’t an interview. So now I have these 5 words in my lap with zero context.

I’ll make this quick. Yes. If you’ve been wondering this for any amount of time, say a week or so, and communications suddenly got all terse and sporadic, then yes. I’d say this is impossible if you’re living together, but my last break up had a week-long lead-up where she just wouldn’t come home. If it’s been like a day or two, and you don’t live together, take some deep breaths and evaluate your dependency issues before assuming the worse. In your situation, it’d be best to pull out that girl-card, “we need to talk,” which works 100% of the time, both summoning your boyfriend and putting him in “oh shit” mode.

Do some information gathering during the talk, and reevaluate from there. If you’re not the clingy type, everyone knows when they’re being avoided, even if they don’t want to admit it. Best of luck.

If you could have a five second speaking cameo in any movie, even before you were born, which one and why? – KC, OH

Well, that’s a mindfuck. Many people might pick their favorite movie here, but for me, five seconds in Groundhog Day may not be as memorable as if I had five seconds in Casafuckingblanca. I could choose to be a moaning zombie in Night of the Living Dead 90′, or a random stooge in The Godfather.

Since it’s just a cameo, and is something to share rather than to hang your hat on, we’re going to have to ere on the side of ‘cool’ and ‘ironic.’ Meaning, that when you bring it up, it needs to be something your peers have seen, and enjoy out of nostalgia. Something they won’t groan at it you pop the DVD in during a party—in fact, they’ll laugh and cheer.

Let’s go for Weekend at Bernies or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, these comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Ask Aarin: Not this AZN fetish shit again?

What is up with your asian videos. Its disgusting. – Mary, IN (from mobile)

You must be new here, and since you didn’t elaborate, I’m unsure what I’m presenting that’s offensive. I believe my multimedia AZN<->West ratio is like 1:2 in favor of WHITE PEOPLE.

You mean this? or do you mean this? or do you mean this?

I didn’t realize being a fan of Nicki Manaj, Katy Perry, or Britney Spears is somehow more wholesome by virtue of ethnicity you racist fuck. Disney’s Ashley Tisdale is just as sexualized as the rest on any given Chick-fil-a Sunday. Miley and Gaga’s videos are too easy to bother submitting into evidence.

My appreciation for jpop and kpop is like 15 years old, isn’t sexualized, and is mixed in an Aarin-stew of western musics spanning the full rainbow of genres. You want to look down your nose at me, I’ll bring out the Lords of Acid and then you can talk to me about something I enjoy that has actual provocative substance. Asian pop music is about as tame as you can get—fully-clothed women and cartoons are performing well-choreographed dances, and sing about friendship or their first kisses—oh, the scandal.

You don’t want to get into a pop-music debate with me. I have way more ammunition than you.

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, these comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Ask Aarin: How not to get caught not cheating?

BF using my hair products y now – Cammy, OH (via mobile)

I don’t get the chance to dive into girl-brain that often. I gather this is either annoying (using all your shit!) or suspicious (behavior change = cheating!). Any other changes in his life? New job, new school or classes? Did he see a movie or TV show that inspired him to be more suave? Media affects boys too, before we get old and lazy. Maybe you forced him to watch Crazy, Stupid, Love and now he’s GAR for Ryan Gosling after you made a passing comment about how hot he is (haven’t seen it).

Every time I use girl shampoo my hair smells funny, so I avoid it when possible. And, IMO, the only guys who use ‘product’ are frat boys who think Jersey Shore is a how-to guide (I know this isn’t true). Nothing wrong with that stuff in principle, but you should probably tell him to buy his own, or better yet, buy some for him. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing, so get him some third tier shit so he quits using your 8$-a-bottle stuff, in effect, saving money!

This goes back to the thing where it arouses suspicion/anxiety when partners change behavior. Understandable. They say a big warning sign for men, is when their couch potato girlfriends randomly join a gym, get a haircut and change its color with no real explanation. It’s a trope for a reason, because it’s sometimes true. Not always true, but enough to become a cliché. Your boy elevating his hygiene isn’t on that level, and if you ask him, he should be able to give you a straight answer as long as you don’t present it like an accusation—that’s a perfect way to put someone on the defensive and pick a fight. Straight-up conversation is always your friend. No drama, no snark, just real, as-if-casual, conversation. Eventually we all have to pretend we’re adults, and amazingly, life gets easier when we do.

I think my married ex is facebook stalking me, but if I block her I’m afraid she’ll start calling me and my girlfriend will think I did something. I fucked up in the first place by drunk IMing her out of boredom and now its like she thinks its a standing date. She might not be happy, but I am. – withheld

Well, if you’re using the standard tools like staying invisible on IM, and blocking her from seeing individual posts, that should work long enough for her to lose interest. A “sry, busy with Ms. Withheld this week” message will do wonders to reestablish boundaries, letting her know where your intentions are. If she’s giving the ‘unhappy married woman’ vibe, you’re probably not even important. You could be any ex, or any male for that matter. Ignore her long enough and she’ll find someone else to lavish attention on her.

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, these comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Ask Aarin: Antisocial?

My friends seem to think I’m antisocial, because I don’t like going to bars or malls and I don’t like being around more than five people at a time. How do I convince them that just because I don’t like being around a lot of people, doesn’t mean I’m ready to shoot half the school? – Bunkergirl, Oceania

Crazy world we live in. I used to walk around armed (hammers and knives) and in trench coats (ask anyone), but those were simpler days, pre-9/11, and pre-Columbine. Since you’re not American, I don’t know when the culture changed for you or if walking around armed in a trench coat was ever acceptable. Sorry, I take these sorts of things literally. I have not hit or cut anyone this century. Also, no one ever accused me of being antisocial or a school shooter.

You’re talking about a perception problem that has little to do with arms and fashion.

Personally, I’m with you. If I’m at a bar, it’s never packed, and I’m with my friends. Shoulder-to-shoulder is uncomfortable for anyone, and no one feels otherwise. Most of our malls are ghost towns of faded commerce, so we’ll distill your point one step further: what’s so weird about enjoying the company of a group, and hating the non-company of a crowd?

The only real answer I can come up with is that your friends should know you better by now. There’s nothing odd about not being a barfly, and nothing odd about not caring about fucking malls. Both earn majority status here. We’re a nation of home-bodies who live vicariously through reality TV, cooking channels, and the travel network. I’m not saying this is ‘good,’ but you have me at a disadvantage culturally, since I can’t fathom anyone actually caring if I go out to the club, or ‘help a bro get some new kicks.’

You should probably start wearing long coats and scaring the shit out of them. It’s far more rewarding than living in wonder at what people may be thinking, when it takes a simple choice to KNOW what people are thinking. If you’re an alien, you’ll always be an alien, so you might as well own it.

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, these comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Ask Aarin: Little Sister?

When I’m with this girl I’ve been hooking up with I can’t nut unless I’m thinking about her sister, who’s like 5 years younger. – withheld (big surprise)

You’re not physically/sexually attracted to your hook-up partner anymore. OK, and common. This isn’t specific to men or women. You can leave little sister out of it (not the problem), and since this is outside of a relationship, you’re better off ending the friends-with-benefits if you simply can’t climax without mentally replacing the girl you’re pounding with someone else. At that point it’s just work, not mutual fun.

If it was an actual relationship, not much difference, except the break-up imperative would either be more urgent, or you seriously need to reevaluate what’s going on in the bedroom. If vanilla isn’t doing it for you, you’d need to communicate that. If you really want to be with someone else, that’s a dealbreaker. If it’s just fading attraction, consider it carefully. For all you know, your partner wants more standing up against the wall passion, and you’re the vanilla guy. You can spice things up without resulting to Cosmo tips about icecubes in armpits and the other stupid shit they suggest. And for guys, believe it or not, buttsecks and ropes aren’t a clear path to reinvigorated chemistry.

I think my boyfriend has been flirting with my little sister.

Yeah. I wrote this one in reply. /4th-wall

If this ever happens, dump the scumbag. Just note, there’s a difference between trying to charm the in-laws and actual flirting. Please don’t confuse the two. Most guys try pretty damn hard to get approval from mom, dad, bro, sis, and friends. If mom or sis play back, that actually seems rather standard, TBH, situational judgement for smart girls, not paranoid ones.

What are your favorite and most hated candy? Skittles n big league chew – Lia, France

(Tries to wrap brain around France in context to the question, and her answers = US student in FR, or FR student in US?)

Starbursts, standard, are awesome, especially in theatres. I don’t mind choco like snocaps, and their texture is amazing, but for pure flavor and that semi-taffy om-nom-nom, starbursts, all the way. Strawberry and cherry are the best. It’s annoying when you’re down to lemon.

You say Big League Chew, which isn’t exactly candy, unless that counts as candy in FR. I see where you’re coming from, since I can only tolerate the grape and even after a big wad it loses flavor in like 30 seconds.

I’d say I can’t stand liquorice, or anything that tastes like it. Good&Plenty and shit is terrible. Then again, I was exposed to a pan of homemade liquorice last year. It looked just like a pan of fudge; you cut squares with a knife, and I had a block of liquorice in my hand from the sweetest old people ever. I forced myself to taste it, and it fucking melted in my mouth. Totally delicious. You’ll never get me to eat that stuff unless it’s homemade.

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, these comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Ask Aarin: Last-Minute Shopping?

I have a day or so to figure out christmas present for the lady, I’m afraid she’s going to get me 15 things and I’ll give her a scarf. – Robb, OH

Thanks for the wealth of details buddy. Now I have to parse this question like I’m Sherlock fucking Holmes to figure out how I can possibly steer you in the right direction. Details would be great: marital status, length of relationship, interests/hobbies/age/etc… Assumption-train, go!

Ok. First, I gather this is your first Christmas together or you’d know what she did last year, and let’s include lack of birthdays/Valentines to set standards. I also assume you’re not married, since you said Lady and not Wife, and that kids aren’t involved or you’d know she’s not buying you 15 anything. You’re probably early 20’s since A. you’re asking a near-stranger for gifting advice on Christmas Eve-Eve, and B. you two didn’t have the standard ‘talk’ where expectations are either established or dismissed. I won’t guess at income disparity, since that’s not entirely relevant.

It’d be best to just ignore what she’ll possibly get you. Worthless speculation. She might buy you a Lexus because ya’ll are 1% ballers. She might buy you a bag of free trade coffee and an espresso maker because your first date was at starbucks and you ordered an Americano. I don’t know these things, but if she goes too far, that’s her fault.

Your ‘job’ in this situation is to be thoughtful. Certain things are thoughtful or thoughtless in context: Let’s say you buy her a blender. Lamest gift ever, right? Not if she’s a drinker and really likes margarita night at Tumbleweed and you include some top-shelf booze and all the fixings (works best in combination with something else, so she doesn’t have to explain why her BF bought her a fucking blender). Maybe she’d adore a Kindle. Or takes pictures on her flip-phone and you can upgrade her to some actual megapixels (art!). If she’s not a big reader or takes like 3 pictures a month, than you’re you’re just buying ’stuff,’ thoughtless.

As far as clothes and jewelery, same rule. You don’t have to be a fashion wiz for this. Coats are always welcome. I’d avoid shoes, tops, and bottoms. Winter accessories are always welcome in combination if you’re trying to wrap more than one thing. As far as jewelery, you get better at this in general as you get older, and it just comes down to paying attention. If she doesn’t wear watches, no watches. If she wears stud earrings, those are fair game. Not a diamond girl (many aren’t), it’s not because no one ever tried, so pick out something with personality that matches her current fashion (my ex was fond of turquoise, and it suited her complexion/fashion; she wore the necklace all the time, even when I wasn’t around). And for God’s sake, unless she’s been hinting like fuck, NEVER buy that trendy pendant-of-the-year shit they advertize on Kay jewelers or whatever. Open heart my ass. Laziest shit ever, and the only girls that expect/want that stuff are 16-years-old so that the “as seen on TV” visual recognition is readily apparent to their equally unimaginative and shallow girlfriends. If you’ve purchased one of those in the past, you’d be better off buying her a scarf so she can cover up that hideous thing.

As long as it’s thoughtful, it really doesn’t matter. It’s not like people never explain their gifts out of insecurity, “Well, remember when you said you really liked walking on the beach? I thought the metal detector would help us spend time together.” I jest, but you get the point.

Best of luck. You’ll be fine.

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, these comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Ask Aarin: Tebow?

Tebow lost to the Patriots. Are we done with him yet? - Michael, MD

We’ll never be done with Tebow. Ever. Just like T.O., he’ll have a microscope until his career is over. So until he plays himself out of the league, we’re stuck with him.

And all this fabricated sympathy for him is ridiculous. He’s the asshole making anti-choice videos and joining groups that have been flagged for hate-speech. He’s not some ‘good guy’ just trying to keep his head down, he’s a rightwing activist that calculates his press and exposure. And he sucks at quarterback. Ask me, he’s earned all the criticism he gets.

That being said, I am not sick of it/him, because as a troll, it’s hilarious to see fans and sportswriters work themselves into a froth over him and the attention, which has created the most epic feedback loop since Farve. But unlike Ol’ Yeller, I don’t find the subject itself annoying since while I genuinely don’t like Tebow, I’d be perfectly happy if he had the most improbable superbowl run ever. It’s a very nuanced position for me, but we can liken it to my earnest desire for Gingrich to win the R nomination for president. Pure selfish entertainment value.

My gf’s lip stud mole piercing thing is gross. She just got it two weeks ago, and it bothers me more than I thought it would. Am I an asshole? - Russell, OH

Well it’s her body, and knowing you, you didn’t try to talk her out of it. You are allowed NOT to like it, I mean, if it doesn’t do it for you, that’s not your fault, but you are sort of stuck with it if you decide to remain in the relationship. That would be a weird deal-breaker, but unlike a bad tattoo, it’s not something you can really ignore since you’re looking at her face all the time.

It’s tough when people change physical things during a relationship, haircuts/color, going from no makeup to cakeface, ink, piercings, weight gain/loss, and anyone saying it shouldn’t matter at all is being naïve. You entered a relationship with a person with ABC qualities, and she threw in a P. If you don’t get used to it, and still can’t ignore it, you can try to bring it up during the proper window:

You: So, do you like it?

Her: Well, yeah. I mean, yeah. (sideways look) Do you like it?

You: Well…I’m not sure it suits your pretty face, it distracts instead of adds.

Or some bullshit. Also, after it heals or whatever, I don’t recall most girls keeping their facial piercings in all-the-time. Also you can try not dating tacky girls from Xenia anymore.

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, these comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Ask Aarin: Porn?

When I walk into the room my girlfriend clicks off her internet. Is she looking at porn? - withheld

Yes, always porn. But probably not. People (women included) get instinctively guarded about everything from online shopping habits, celebrity gossip, nerdy youtube vids, music favs, and especially their social media. Are they stalking their ex-boyfriend’s photos on FB? Quite probably, but it has nothing to do with you, the current boyfriend, they just don’t want you to get the wrong idea (because that’s usually innocent). This goes for ladies with fast-clicking boyfriends too.

Internet privacy in a relationship is a big fucking deal, IMO. If you don’t open your partner’s bank statements, or cruise their cell history, you better not be the type to check their browser history, e-mail, or hack their facebook for dirt. You either trust them or you don’t. And if they’ve given you a reason not to trust them, the relationship is probably fucked anyway. And if they haven’t given you reason to snoop, and you do it anyway, you’re fucked. You’ll probably have to grow as an individual before you can get in a real relationship.

And this is a rant, and everyone gets insecure, but you’re either the type that will read someone else’s private diary, or your not. I assume 95+% of people have snooped. I have in the past. But I have not been a snoop in a very long time (think 1998). I think you just grow out of that, TBH.

Long story short. Porn. Though the kind of girls that watch a lot of porn usually don’t bother hiding it from their boyfriends, unless he’s Mormon.

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, the comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Ask Aarin: Great Idea?

lol great idea! I wear socks to bed and he doesnt like it. – withheld

Auspicious beginnings here.

You, dear, can wear whatever you want to bed. I’m not going to make the frozen girl-feet joke, or give you props for saving the unappreciative guy the horror (though I guess I just did both). I can only assume he wants you to wear less clothes in general. Win?

How does aarin cure a hangover? – Karen, MN

Aarin doesn’t get hungover unless he wakes up drunk. That being said, ‘keep drinking’ works great, as does the water chug before bed or in the middle of the night. I’m not sure if the dehydration = hangover thing is completely correct or not. My BFF’s in hippy-land, Ohio, swear that organic beer and sulfite-free wine earn zero hangovers, but since I can’t afford either, this is hearsay. Trustworthy hearsay, but hearsay nonetheless. And since I don’t drink liquor-shots or mixed-drinks I have no frame of reference about those either. Last time I threw-up from drinking was in the 90’s because of rum, which is why I quit drinking liquor other than the occasional sip-glass of cheap brandy.

My answer would be to mind what you drink (know what to expect) and either pre-empt the hangover with water and Waffle House, sleep it off, or try and keep down some orange juice and a BK croissantwhich before work. Coffee seems to work against you postmortem, accentuating the symptoms. Coffee for a hangover is a terrible idea. So are cigarettes.

Quit listening to Kesha, asshole – Russell, OH

We broke up in August…

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Daily advice column. Post questions in FB, FB Private message, these comments, or send to aarinedwards @ gmail.com. Anonymity on request, which seems more common than not.

Because It’s Awesome

My Girls

So dealing with Lydia (main character in the Mourning Song) I have to deal with my own perceptions of women or some bullshit because I’m a male writer who writes about lead women, and can’t be taken as anything other than a misogynist if I choose to disregard gender roles = wtf, really, what is feminism to people? I do not appreciate the sentiment that women don’t cuss or lust, especially since they do A LOT of that in normal fiction written by women, much less in real life. There’s nothing exploitative about rounding out a strong female using ‘male’ things like intelligence, organization, sexuality, and logic (I make a joke).

My female cast (hair-color and body-type included because apparently that matters) =

  1. Jessica: Blonde, a true athlete, aggressive, tender as hell when it comes to love and her family. Trucker-mouth like 80% of the girls I know that are under 25 years old. Materialistic on style except she’s in an apocalypse and that doesn’t matter. Hero of Nome, Alaska, and that pretty much becomes her identity.

  1. Lillian: Platinum-Blonde, a petite emo 16-year-old that has a big, big crush and is struggling with her identity (as a corporate heiress). All she wants (in romance) is her older boy to notice her as he obsesses over ex’s and girls his own age. In life, she just wants to be recognized for being competent and to step out of her older sister’s shadow.

  2. Rochelle: Raven-haired, a shy-ish, womanly, medical student that’s having a lot of trouble reconciling her financial situation. Her dad’s been in prison since she was two, and she’s trying to figure out if dealing drugs to get through college is ok since crime is in her blood. In love, she’s a 2-timer and a wreck. While a sweet girl, her moral compass is spinning, and spinning.

  3. Pharis: Brunette, extremely extroverted and crude, she’s simply an attention whore on a high scale, albeit with standards as far as not being ‘I fucked 3 guys tonight’ slutty or putting herself in danger. She’s your FB friend with 900 pictures throwing up deuces (hopefully not with duck-face) and 2000 friends she never talks to. She likes committed relationships and is never single for more than a week. Pharis is probably the most honest character, to herself and others.

  4. Lydia: Blonde, an awkward, normal-figured, artsy, has worked like hell to get into an elite technical college, only to find that the only interesting thing about her is her musical talent. On a huge crossroads, a light-year from home, Lydia has to decide her future before she can even see which way the stream flows. People are attracted to her modesty and skill, nonetheless. The oldest of the bunch, she knows the least about who she is.

  5. Sacha: Redhead, army-athletic, is a weird throwback to conventional gender roles, as she romanticizes the traditional housewife, even though no one else understands it, not even her fiance. Unlike anyone she knows, she has killed living people, in combat, in the past, and wants nothing more than to leave that all behind for a simplified future.

Oh and we have Kati and Fiona, Courtney and Briana, Mai and Hannah, Chastity, Cynthia, Jordan, Christy, Shrine, Roxabelle, Dolores, Dani, Holly, etc, etc, and as many boys to match all of them, rainbow ethnicities included.

I love ‘my girls,’ and their voices continue to evolve the more I interact with them. I look forward to a long future with these ladies who do most of the work on their own—I just record it.

Because It’s Awesome

My Audience of 5 - Allergies & Alcohol

Well, hello there, audience! Want to waste some time with me?

I thought so. Let’s box~

So I’ve had this headache for 7 weeks. Most people would say, “get that looked it, it’s a tumor.”

“It’s not a tumor.” Yeah, It’s very obviously a sinus infection. I can feel it in my nose, and half my face is still tender to the touch. It just happens that way. I guess my no-medicial-insuranced ass could have went to urgent care and got some antibiotics, but that would mean I’d have to quit drinking for 10 days, and I simply don’t like health that much.

We could certainly focus on that aspect for a couple minutes, but it’s not really worth going into since I’m very self-aware and non-budging on this issue. Yet, I feel this familiar tug of incoming judgment…

Crap… here we go~

“Write post about allergies = yet another rant about alcoholism with me heading off the ‘ewww that’s gross, you’re destroying your life’ in a totally defensive manner before anyone even says anything.”

Yay, for conditioned response. I’ll avoid this one. I’m not even buzzed :/

At least I have the writer thing as a shield. /cracks open a beer.

Can you say you’re any happier than me, confirm you’ll live longer? I am so fucking thrilled and so grateful for my every day and every opportunity I don’t even think it translates. I love you people. Just love me the same, I don’t place conditions on love.

Because It’s Awesome

Mourning Song 1

I realize this is a little confusing, but I’m writing ‘The Anatali Saga.’ First, I wrote book 3 (Knights - 4128AD), then went back in time to write book 1 (Ragnarok - 4124AD). Between them, there’s supposed to be another novel, The Mourning Song.

This one really bridges the gap of 3 years time, including the launch of Exodus Class Anatali Station that houses 38 million passengers.

If I recall correctly, I started on this novel’s concept in 2007, but never really moved on it. Lydia Stamos is an artistic Greek/Korean/etc/etc who lost her mother early, and accidentally killed her father recently. Moving on from white-trash Vancouver, she studied hard in her early 20’s, did very well in prep school, and is now on her way to the stars via Anatali Station to find a new start away from drugs and boys.

While her past doesn’t catch up with her, her nature does as she’s found out to be a wonderful musician, and is again tempted into boys and drugs. Lydia is torn between the future she chose and worked so hard for herself in academics, and the easy road of stardom that’s being laid at her feet via her natural talent.

Meanwhile, an extremely demented individual takes interest in Lydia at the behest of the voices he hears from his dead wife.

It’s a drama/thriller, that introduces many characters needed for book 3, and even more-so, the eventual book 4.

This would be my public start to this project, and I hope to have it finished by Valentine’s Day.

Because It’s Awesome

Goodbye Yellow Springs

This week marks the end of my residential involvement in Yellow Springs, as Emma and I let the lease run out on our little apartment, and it’s time to GTFO.

It’s a turning point in more ways than one.

To start with, We broke up in Late April, making this 4 months we’ve still been cooperating financially, and are still the best of friends, much less sharing space even though we don’t live together anymore. I’m pretty sure no one really understands our ‘relationship’ at this point. It’s not romantic, it is BFF’s, and like I said it’s been four months and we might be as close as ever. We’re family now, and I get that it’s a little weird to people with other ‘relationship experience.’ I can assure you there’s nothing weird about love. Love takes many forms.

Now she’ll be living with some VERY good friends, most of her possessions that aren’t clothes will be living at my parents’ house, and I’ll be there too, back in Springfield, doing my thing until…well, whatever.

14 months ago we moved in, and within a week I dumped my 5 year relationship with Max and Erma’s Restaurant for a variety of reasons, some planned, some not. No love left there. That organization can still go fuck itself. I did, however spend a summer reading, an autumn racking up debt, and a winter gaming. Sort of a blur.

I do have VERY good memories of my time there, most of them personal or with close friends.

After a year I haven’t made a close friend with a single Yellow Springer I wasn’t already in the band with, and that’s cool by me, I’m not outgoing whatsoever. It’s already been four months mostly-moved-out, and I’m sure when I get the rest of our shit out of there, I still won’t miss a thing. I’ll still be working in the village, and doing band stuff there, but other than my friendly acquaintances at Peaches, I’ve never had any business hooking up with the late-teen crowd, or the older Gulch crowd. It’s just different wavelengths, especially with an introvert like me. Especially when fellow peer-group townies still shoot small-town looks at me when I’ve done nothing but be friendly and polite. There’s some of that I really don’t appreciate.

I don’t party and don’t smoke weed and am too poor to buy peoples’ affections (drinks), so there’s a disconnect there. Nothing bad, but I never really met any gamers/geeks either, not like my old friends in Springfield. Next time I feel like being social IRL, I’ll just geek it up with people who get it.

So, Goodbye Yellow Springs, Ohio, as a residence, and I’m sure poor-ass Springfield will welcome me back with open arms. Springfield and I have always had an understanding, and to be honest, I prefer my hometown. The only difference between the two is spray-paint and murals. Wait, never mind the first part.

Because It’s Awesome



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